Recent Posts

• February 26, 2021

  Sleep Routine

  The baby is now almost five months old. He is still a large boy, surpassing the bigger cat fairly quickly. He still sleeps reasonably well, though of late he’s been waking in the hour or two after being put to bed with this enraged shrieking that vibrates the walls and my skull with the same resonance. It’s loud, is what I’m saying. His being in my bedroom adds a new step to my everyday (everynight) routine. Now, instead of sleeping peacefully through the night in my own bed, I get woken up by an abrupt, upset spluttering noise somewhere in the region of 2am. When this happens, I change a nappy and shuffle out to the living room couch to try and get enough sleep to be a functioning human for work the next day. Once there, I am at the whims of its feline residents: Jones and Ripley. If they are already asleep on the couch, I basically have to accommodate them, fold it out and sleep on the edge. If I try and assert my human superiority by, for example, picking them up and moving them out of the way, they will retaliate by wandering around the room for hours, aggressively licking themselves next to my head, or straight up jumping onto me from the nearest height. Not worth it. If they’re sleeping on some other piece of furniture, I’m generally safe until they decide it’s time for breakfast, usually circa 6:30am. They let me know this by wandering around the room, aggressively licking etc. All the stuff I mentioned before except this time louder and at high speed. If I don’t get up and feed them sharpish, they inevitably wake the three-year-old, who is then terminally up, and haunts the corridors until I concede that my day is no longer upcoming, and in fact started a half hour previously.

• December 31, 2020

  On to 2021

  Alright then, what do I want to do in 2021? Here’s the first batch of things: go to a pub, go to the cinema, eat at a restaurant, play board games with friends. God help me I even want to go into the office once or twice to see what it looks like. Maybe complete a work day without changing a nappy or initiating a nap (for someone other than myself). Let’s do the numbered list though, so I can check it off at the end of ‘21.

• December 30, 2020

  Bye bye 2020

  I made some resolutions at the beginning of this year. It was a weird year, how did that go?

• June 19, 2020

  Three Months of Remote Work

  I’ve been working on my living room table for three months now. Mostly there. My back started to cave in on itself after a month or so, so I got a standing desk to put on the kitchen counter. The employer picked up half the cost so I got a nice wooden one. I’ve been cycling through those locations, moving when my watch vibrates because I haven’t moved for two hours, or when I sit at slightly the wrong angle and get shooting pains. That second one might be ageing. Standing is better for my posture, but being in the kitchen puts me very close to multiple bread products, so it’s not perfect.

• May 08, 2020

  No More Weeks of Lockdown?

  Today is Friday. Boris Johnson is going to say some stuff on TV on Sunday. Since the UK government is a complete shitshow, the bulk of it has been leaked, discussed and speculated about already. Everyone has made their plans, and their plans involve going out. The government are supposedly intending to do what a few other European countries are doing and ease the lockdown a little bit. Germany are doing it, the Bundesliga starts back up next week. Denmark are doing it, but let’s ignore that Denmark had eight deaths today, and the UK had six hundred and twenty six. People seem to have taken these leaks and speculations about a speech (that hasn’t happened yet) to mean the whole thing’s finished. Pandemic over. Mainly because we’re sick of sitting around.